Can you love and hate beauty at the same time?
It's the uncomfortable struggle so many of us have…
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In our modern age we like things to be definite, whether that’s left or right, in or out, introvert or extrovert, cancelled or adored. As a result there seems to be very little middle ground.
When writing and researching my book UGLY, I started with a genuine curiosity to know how certain physical attributes became the ‘beauty ideal’ and why not fitting that blueprint made us feel so inherently sh*t. As I uncovered more and more beauty history - delving through journals, history books and scouring old ads - it became evident that the link between appearance and marriage (i.e. the only way for women to prosper) was a major drive for the female pursuit of ideal beauty. Alongside that, I also saw the way that patriarchy, capitalism and white supremacy have used that imbalance of power to manipulate us into feeling ugly for centuries - and they still continue to do so, just in more covert ways.
All of that was deeply confronting, both as a woman but also because beauty is my career. I started to feel uneasy knowing all of this information, and then ‘selling’ beauty through personal recommendations or what I write professionally - which definitely made me back away a bit from social media, whilst I grappled with it internally. I didn’t want to seem like a hypocrite because I am critical of the beauty industry, but I also make my living writing about and consulting for beauty brands. But truthfully my agenda has always been the same; what I want, what I’ve always wanted, is for 15 year old Anita and people like her to be seen, to be heard and represented by the industries that should represent us.
That’s the reason I’ve wanted to work for fashion magazines since I was a teenager. It’s why, back in 2010 I spent my evenings after my relentless day job as a magazine assistant writing a column for The Guardian about beauty for dark skin (above), because I was fed up with not seeing myself in the pages of the magazines I read. Thirteen years ago I pitched a feature, seen as daring at the time, about the lack of foundations for skin of colour at Stylist which went viral. Why? Because nobody else seemed to be holding the beauty industry to account ignoring us. Likewise a shoot I directed at Marie Claire in 2015 (below) featured people who were considered outside of the beauty norm for being heavily tattooed, disabled, plus size, and transgender was a first for luxury fashion magazine and I loved organising it. But people still come up to me me in the street to say that was the first time they had seen themselves or their views represented in a huge title which genuinely means more than any of the awards I’ve won.
I’m happy to be one of the long-standing voices that speaks honestly and openly about the beauty industry from the inside but that also comes with its problems. That middle ground can be very uncomfortable because people and he industry doesn't know what to do with you; it’s far easier to be a ‘my body my choice botox loving feminist’, or ‘anti beauty feminist’ because that’s easier to understand. It’s also more extreme, and garners more attention. But the reality that most of us live - myself included - is somewhere in the middle. As much as Naomi Wolf’s’s iconic book The Beauty Myth was an incredible book, its author still wore makeup and dyed her hair - she still took part in beauty rituals. That’s the reason I wrote UGLY, as a guide to living within beauty culture, because I think we can still enjoy it as long as we have agency over our decisions and that - I believe - comes from having the knowledge of how it’s been used against us in the past.
I still love beauty products - and I always will. They’re a huge part of how I express myself, and find joy and I find the culture around them fascinating. And I hope they are for you too, because that’s the very best part of beauty. The bad part is feeling like we have to fit in, or that we have to freeze time and tweak ourselves or that we have to be thin to be loveable. Beauty has that duality to it, and it’s a fine line between exploration, and falling into the trap of ‘beauty anxiety’ that pushes us into thinking we have to change our appearance to fit into those long-held beauty standards.
The beauty industry and the culture of beauty around has become an consuming giant, and that’s why it’s more important than ever before that it is held to higher standards. The new challenge is to to find our way amidst all the noise of viral products, and seek information from those we trust and believe, which is tricky when even the experts - the doctors and scientists meant to cut through it all - are arguing on social media, and have their own agendas, often to ‘tweak’ us in some way.
It’s made me realise that in the middle is actually the most valuable place to be; because I can cut through that noise, here, for whoever wants to listen. I love make-up, I use skincare, and I still covet palettes and want to adorn my body in tattoos, but instead of feeling conflicted I need to stay true to what I’ve always done, and that’s to ensure - through my platforms, as a brand consultant and through my writing - that inclusivity, exploration and nuance is at the heart of everything I do. And I’m in the best place to do that, with a goal make it as inclusive, expansive and generous as I can, from within it’s beating heart.
So that’s where I’m landing with this, and I hope this makes sense and resonates for you if you’ve had any kind of internal struggle with this too.
Much love from the middle….
FURTHER READING:
-Upgrade to paid here.
-Buy ‘UGLY: Why the word became beauty obsessed and how to break free’ in the UK here, in the US here and click here to for other countries.
-Follow me on Instagram here
-Find out more about my work here.
I am so grateful of having found your work here! I feel you when you say that you still want to enjoy makeup but maintaining the knowledge and awareness you always had and sharing that with people. great insight on marketing and society in general.