Read this before you look in the mirror!
This self worth buffer might just make all the difference...
I’ll be honest: I’ve always rolled my eyes at affirmations. The pastel Post-It notes, the Instagram-ready “I am worthy” quotes… it all felt a bit vague, a bit too ‘wellness without the actual work’ for my taste. Like sticking a band-aid over a massive issue/trauma/belief without digging deeper into it. But after the ‘popularity’ of my last Substack post - the one on race and pretty privilege - and a subsequent onslaught of trolls (a few here, but a few hundred on Instagram) I found myself in a weird place.
If you were one of the people who messaged to say it resonated, thank you - this is for you. The positive comments I received on that piece reminded me how easy it is to internalise the rubbish we get thrown at us daily. And how sometimes, we need something simple and sharp to counteract it.
So I’ve been experimenting. Not with endless vague affirmations that mean nothing after a week, but with one carefully chosen statement each month - something specific enough to speak to exactly what I’m struggling with, and short enough to lodge in my brain. The key? Targeting. It’s the difference between saying “I am beautiful” (which, let’s be real, my inner critic will deliver a WWE-esque take down on immediately) and “I am more than how I look today” - which somehow cuts straight through the noise. It feels like an immediate boost; like somebody has made you stand up straighter and feel stronger; all in a single phrase.
The affirmation I’ve been using this month is above. You can print it and tape it to your mirror(s) which is what I do, or screengrab it and make it your phone background so it’s the first thing you see in the morning. I’ll be sharing a new one every month in this series, along with why I chose it and how it’s working for me.
Because here’s the thing: the world is loud with messages telling us who we should be. Sometimes, the quiet voice we need to hear most is our own - but we have to train it to speak up.
I’d love to know your thoughts on this and affirmations in general - have they worked for you? Would you give it a trial?
Much love
You've gotten to exactly why certain affirmations do and don't work: Specificity and relatability. Many of us can smell B.S. a mile away and those general "warm fuzzy" statements can just feel like spiritual bypassing or toxic positivity, while ones that acknowledge that "thinking positive" isn't always easily accessed (or that all kinds of human emotions are ok) feel more authentic. An affirmation that tries to get you from ten to fifteen percent is going to feel so much more accessible and real than one trying to get you from ten to ninety.
Also, I love that your statement this month acknowledges the societal aspect of beauty - feeling beautiful isn't actually just a solo internal project and this affirmation helps to relieve the pressure someone might put on themselves to "fix" their self-esteem as though it's done in a vacuum.
Thank you for this!
You are enough and that is enough, I think all people can get into this trap of looking a certain way even men. I’ve always believed that real beauty always stems from within. Believe me as a wiser I have lived and learned this as with the you can’t judge a book by its cover saying actually wisdom really. Fashion and style trends will come and go only to be spit out and recycled again but real beauty and wisdom ages like fine wine. As a song once stated “Can’t touch this” or maybe these days it’s can’t filter or touch up this either. I’m good with anything that helps one realize this no matter who they are I personally have had a word of the year than see where it will show up in my life. No beauty on the inside definitely no beauty on the outside.