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Sep 22, 2023Liked by Anita Bhagwandas

I remember re-watching Love Actually last Christmas, I hadn't seen it for YEARS and was HORRIFIED at how extremely full of of fat shaming it was. SHOCKED that I hadn't noticed at the time! Goes to show how entrenched in the norm it was, to fat shame.

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That is a bad one, also 'chubby' Natalie is actually really slim which goes to show just how bad it was back then!

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I'm Gen X, brought up by whichever the ones before Boomers were. The ones who (in the UK anyway) grew up with rationing. Also...sweets. My Mum adored food, had a fabulous appetite and was a brilliant cook. Also...was constantly re-starting Weightwatchers. She always ordered dessert, I thought unashamedly. But was it? Because I knew she hid bags of fun size Mars Bars behind the skimmed milk powder. This is a conversation I have a lot with my two teenage daughters. Not so much with my sons. No surprise there. Great piece, so much to think about. Thanks @PoornaBell for recommending.

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You know what, I just realised I missed that generation out, but you’re right the rationing generation had a really hard time with food - literally the lack of it - and then diet culture on top of that post war. That’s such confusing messaging to comprehend. Sounds like you managed not to pick up on the shame of treats etc? And awesome you’re having those conversations with your kids too. X

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Ooof, how much time you got?! Trying to tuck myself into low rise jeans a la Keira Knightly, Ryan Gosling cries when you eat bread memes (before memes were called memes, circa 2011), the ‘thinspiration’ blogs….jeeeez. What a time to be (barely because you were starving) alive 🙃

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The low rise jeans oh my god! The worst. I actually found an old pair the other day and was like HELL NO.

And yes thinspo - I actively followed that kind of stuff for so long, and most of my twenties too. Was such a bleak time - no wonder we’ve all got noughties dieting ptsd. 😩

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I had the weight combo with my 9-yr-old daughter just the other day and her mum and I have been very mindful about how we express we've all had an excessive summer, and we all need to eat healthy and exercise, without leaving her thinking there's something wrong with her extra weight. . We happened to be particularly edit as you go when the topic of dancing and older girls she knew in dance class who didn't eat, and we touched on anorexia and bulemia and body issues, and I swear, she stopped on the street, gave herself a little hug and said "ooh I love my body". Both mum and I had a little happy cry afterwards x

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That’s so joyful! ❤️ And amazing you had those conversations with her too - I think it would have made such a difference to me if my parents had done that - but alas, different generations have the benefit of hindsight right! X

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I love seeing Gen Zers walking around looking like Bratz dolls. They are SO fashionable! It's everything I ever wanted but couldn't wear because, let's face it, as a small town chubby girl, where am I going to find a fox tail to hang from my imaginary low rise flare cargo pants?

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A very common expression from my parents was “I can have dessert, since I went to the gym today”. Such a horrible sentiment, not only for the fact that it correlates exercise to some kind of penance or payment in order to indulge and enjoy life, while simultaneously making everyone eating dessert who didn’t work out that day feel like garbage. I still hear this all the time. Really resonated with your message that we need to have softness with each other and understand that a lot of people are still really embedded in negative thought patterns.

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