The negative legacy of barbie for kids is still evident now. Despite ensuring my girls have dolls of all colours, shapes and guises, they still prefer the white blonde ones. It really hits a nerve as my childhood memories of barbie as a south Asian kid are the same as yours - feeling separate or other at such a young age 😢
That's so heartbreaking to hear Nona. That 'whiter the better' rhetoric seems to seep in so young, and so early. But the bonus is that you're aware of it - it wasn't something our parents would have considered. Have you ever asked them why the prefer those dolls? x
Yes I tried to gently dig into it (as much as you can with a 4 and 6 year old). They didn’t know (or couldn’t describe) why, but the 6 year old seemed to be curious to understand herself. I could almost see the cogs turning, wondering why she likes what she likes and not (for example) the dolls that resemble her or her family. Witnessing the conundrum as a parent is so painful as it is basically observing in real time the insidious tentacles of white supremacy influencing your kids right there in your home 💔
That sounds super tough :( I'm hoping to run something on here about how parents can talk to children about beauty (and I have a piece on this coming up in a newspaper too) so I'll make sure I post details in case anything in that helps. But already sounds like you're doing the right thing, ie the gentle questioning etc.
I think for little me, there was an element of prestige associated with playing with my Barbies because Barbie was an extension of the majority of female protagonists in film/tv/music I loved (Sailor Moon, Lizzie McGuire, Baby Spice etc). It’s sad that the value on Eurocentric physicalities being the pillar of beauty were hammered home super early. Even the clean girl good look’s popularity is perplexing. Brown women have been oiling their hair and tying in buns forever but it was looked down on. Now that white female influencers do it, it’s a whole aesthetic. Very reminiscent of the west subordinating the east but that’s a whole other conversation. Thanks for the post Anita. I enjoyed it!
Ah so glad you enjoyed it! :) And yes - it happens time and time again, nothing is 'legitimate' until a white person does it. Same happened with yoga and mindfulness and so many other things!
This is such a complex topic but the bottom line is that lauding the characteristics Barbie has is damaging. My kids played with dolls (only the odd Barbie) and I encouraged it as a means of preserving their innocence when they were young and their Tom Boy peers and their parents laughed at them for it at the time, only for those girls to quickly adopt aged ten onwards the Barbie look and dying their hair blonde and more. There is a really important parenting conversation to be had around this as a lot of the behaviour by young girls chasing the Barbie look is actively encouraged by parents. It's not just Barbie these kids are following but it starts with Barbie. Separately as a woman of colour I'm watching in amazement as to how many women of my ethnicity are dying their hair blonde. In the workplace it doesn't take long to figure out that many women CEOs happen to be white with blonde hair - people should have have agency over hair colour but we can't deny that it looks like dying your hair blonde would probably be a good career option.
And yes the blonde hair thing is huge across a variety of Asian cultures - but part of me wonders what's the line between just trying a trend and self expression, and then trying to fit in with Eurocentric beauty standards. Such a tricky one...
The negative legacy of barbie for kids is still evident now. Despite ensuring my girls have dolls of all colours, shapes and guises, they still prefer the white blonde ones. It really hits a nerve as my childhood memories of barbie as a south Asian kid are the same as yours - feeling separate or other at such a young age 😢
That's so heartbreaking to hear Nona. That 'whiter the better' rhetoric seems to seep in so young, and so early. But the bonus is that you're aware of it - it wasn't something our parents would have considered. Have you ever asked them why the prefer those dolls? x
Yes I tried to gently dig into it (as much as you can with a 4 and 6 year old). They didn’t know (or couldn’t describe) why, but the 6 year old seemed to be curious to understand herself. I could almost see the cogs turning, wondering why she likes what she likes and not (for example) the dolls that resemble her or her family. Witnessing the conundrum as a parent is so painful as it is basically observing in real time the insidious tentacles of white supremacy influencing your kids right there in your home 💔
That sounds super tough :( I'm hoping to run something on here about how parents can talk to children about beauty (and I have a piece on this coming up in a newspaper too) so I'll make sure I post details in case anything in that helps. But already sounds like you're doing the right thing, ie the gentle questioning etc.
I think for little me, there was an element of prestige associated with playing with my Barbies because Barbie was an extension of the majority of female protagonists in film/tv/music I loved (Sailor Moon, Lizzie McGuire, Baby Spice etc). It’s sad that the value on Eurocentric physicalities being the pillar of beauty were hammered home super early. Even the clean girl good look’s popularity is perplexing. Brown women have been oiling their hair and tying in buns forever but it was looked down on. Now that white female influencers do it, it’s a whole aesthetic. Very reminiscent of the west subordinating the east but that’s a whole other conversation. Thanks for the post Anita. I enjoyed it!
Ah so glad you enjoyed it! :) And yes - it happens time and time again, nothing is 'legitimate' until a white person does it. Same happened with yoga and mindfulness and so many other things!
This is such a complex topic but the bottom line is that lauding the characteristics Barbie has is damaging. My kids played with dolls (only the odd Barbie) and I encouraged it as a means of preserving their innocence when they were young and their Tom Boy peers and their parents laughed at them for it at the time, only for those girls to quickly adopt aged ten onwards the Barbie look and dying their hair blonde and more. There is a really important parenting conversation to be had around this as a lot of the behaviour by young girls chasing the Barbie look is actively encouraged by parents. It's not just Barbie these kids are following but it starts with Barbie. Separately as a woman of colour I'm watching in amazement as to how many women of my ethnicity are dying their hair blonde. In the workplace it doesn't take long to figure out that many women CEOs happen to be white with blonde hair - people should have have agency over hair colour but we can't deny that it looks like dying your hair blonde would probably be a good career option.
Totally agree - it starts with Barbie sadly :(
And yes the blonde hair thing is huge across a variety of Asian cultures - but part of me wonders what's the line between just trying a trend and self expression, and then trying to fit in with Eurocentric beauty standards. Such a tricky one...