Thank you for this. Timely read for me as I’m turning 40 in May and leaning towards celebrating in various small ways with different people (which would be lovely) over having a party, due to the inevitable low turnout and how that would make me feel. I don’t even know if I want a party really but I wish I could feel that people would turn up if I did, and show they recognise that I’m worthy of a celebration that isn’t a hen do, wedding or baby shower after all the times I’ve celebrated them... Well done for having a bash, I hope you had a fabulous time and felt loved and valued!
My mom had many single women friends and I am grateful for each of them. I am also grateful that her “clan” of friends, sisters, and sisters-in-law were all in for each other-celebrating birthdays yes but each others successes and support for bad times too. I was a bit unprepared for to understand how life worked where there was less a sense of friendship and more age-related common experiences.
I absolutely loved this read! I agree that we have to celebrate ourselves. For me, I get 2 days out of the year: mothers day and my birthday and I don't think it's too much to ask to be celebrated, let alone acknowledged and made to feel special on those days. I did appreciate how you added about being celebrated and celebrating other things other than the "stereotypical normative" being a mom, married, etc. celebrating yourself, goals, accomplishments are important too!
Oh mate, this makes me so emotional. My birthday is on / around Easter time so people have always been on holiday. For my 30th I was going to plan a big Jeff Bridges themed do, come dressed as anything Jeff Bridges but it would be at a bowling alley and there would be White Russians so if everyone came as The Dude it wouldn’t matter.
Got so worried no one would come (from past experience) that i just didn’t bother organising it at all.
I so appreciate you writing this, Anita. I'm about to turn 30 soon and feel that shift in some of my friendships, particularly the ones who are getting married or in long-term partnerships. As I read this, I've realized how much I've downplayed a lot of big accomplishments because they don't fit into the mold of what society deems acceptable of celebrating. I love the idea of honoring what happens outside of the traditional milestones because it allows us to be seen for all of what we've done/overcome. Definitely going to carry this mindset forward.
All of this! I have the single girls birthday present rule among one friends group - the three of us singles (& 40) always get each other gifts for the very reasons you outlined!
A good friend once told me that milestones are bullshit! I honestly believe that nothing needs to be done by a certain age or time.
Everyone's greatness/ achievements deserves to be celebrated and holding space for someone is an honor.
Cheers to your special day!
Thank you for this. Timely read for me as I’m turning 40 in May and leaning towards celebrating in various small ways with different people (which would be lovely) over having a party, due to the inevitable low turnout and how that would make me feel. I don’t even know if I want a party really but I wish I could feel that people would turn up if I did, and show they recognise that I’m worthy of a celebration that isn’t a hen do, wedding or baby shower after all the times I’ve celebrated them... Well done for having a bash, I hope you had a fabulous time and felt loved and valued!
My mom had many single women friends and I am grateful for each of them. I am also grateful that her “clan” of friends, sisters, and sisters-in-law were all in for each other-celebrating birthdays yes but each others successes and support for bad times too. I was a bit unprepared for to understand how life worked where there was less a sense of friendship and more age-related common experiences.
I absolutely loved this read! I agree that we have to celebrate ourselves. For me, I get 2 days out of the year: mothers day and my birthday and I don't think it's too much to ask to be celebrated, let alone acknowledged and made to feel special on those days. I did appreciate how you added about being celebrated and celebrating other things other than the "stereotypical normative" being a mom, married, etc. celebrating yourself, goals, accomplishments are important too!
Oh mate, this makes me so emotional. My birthday is on / around Easter time so people have always been on holiday. For my 30th I was going to plan a big Jeff Bridges themed do, come dressed as anything Jeff Bridges but it would be at a bowling alley and there would be White Russians so if everyone came as The Dude it wouldn’t matter.
Got so worried no one would come (from past experience) that i just didn’t bother organising it at all.
Still regret that
always looking for my tribe of middle-aged, single, child-free women to celebrate, and cry about, life with. we walk a unique path.
Loved it! I totally identify with you...and think alike thanks for putting it out there! ❤️
An excellent read. Resonates a lot! You are a queen.
Loved this, thank you.
Loved this, thank you.
I so appreciate you writing this, Anita. I'm about to turn 30 soon and feel that shift in some of my friendships, particularly the ones who are getting married or in long-term partnerships. As I read this, I've realized how much I've downplayed a lot of big accomplishments because they don't fit into the mold of what society deems acceptable of celebrating. I love the idea of honoring what happens outside of the traditional milestones because it allows us to be seen for all of what we've done/overcome. Definitely going to carry this mindset forward.
as a jan 3 bday this resonates on all levels! a goal of mine is too be more thoughtful and celebratory throughout the year
My birthday is quite often Easter, so I've had years of training for all my friends going missing as they get married and have babies.
I'm going to celebrate myself this year!
Anita, we are birthday twins... I was also 40 on Jan 3rd! Loved this read and happy crappy birthday day to you too
All of this! I have the single girls birthday present rule among one friends group - the three of us singles (& 40) always get each other gifts for the very reasons you outlined!
Spot on. Thank you for expressing this experience so eloquently and real!