Eek! I agree re BMI! It’s not accurate for all people. I’ve always “weighed more” than I “looked” like I weighed and have heavy bones and muscles so even at my thinnest I was still over 10 stone (around 155ish lbs) and a size 14/16 in the UK in a world that celebrates size 10/12 as the “biggest” you can be and even “fluffy” Bridget Jones in the book only weighed something ridiculously small like 130ish lbs. I’ve always hated people describing me as “voluptuous” because of the internalised societal fat phobia (that I’m still working on in therapy). I felt that if I wasn’t as thin as a Victoria’s Secret runway model, I wasn’t thin enough and realistically I will never have that 1% body type. In my grad school days, after every breakup I’d drop 20lbs because I’d be too sad to eat and have everyone tell me how “amazing” I looked so I get it. We should celebrate people having nourished bodies or maybe just focus on people as people, bodies aside. Your writing always resonates with me so thanks for sharing.
I have spent my entire life wishing I could be just 5-10 pounds thinner. Then 2 years ago I had a hypomanic episode followed by a deep depression and I lost 15 pounds in about 3 months without trying. My skin got horrible, my hair fell out, and people kept telling me how hot I looked and asking how I lost so much weight. I will never comment on someone's weight loss again. You have no idea what they're going through, whether it was intentional or not, or even arrived at in a healthy way. I will keep my comments to myself. As more argument for this, my husband once told someone he looked great and had lost so much weight and the guy said "I have cancer". So... yeah, peoples bodies are not fodder for your conversation. So glad I realized all this while my girls are young. It will be a constant consideration around how I talk about food, clothes, and bodies.
This was so interesting and insightful Anita. As some that used to be fat, I've learned you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life.
Just the other day, I asked my therapist about what I should do when people comment on the fact that I've lost weight. I also have a painful history of disordered eating/exercise, and am wildly uncomfortable with and annoyed by the fact that people comment on other people's bodies.
I appreciate you shared these parts of your own experience with us. I'm sorry that this happens, and I wish you so much happiness and health.
Eek! I agree re BMI! It’s not accurate for all people. I’ve always “weighed more” than I “looked” like I weighed and have heavy bones and muscles so even at my thinnest I was still over 10 stone (around 155ish lbs) and a size 14/16 in the UK in a world that celebrates size 10/12 as the “biggest” you can be and even “fluffy” Bridget Jones in the book only weighed something ridiculously small like 130ish lbs. I’ve always hated people describing me as “voluptuous” because of the internalised societal fat phobia (that I’m still working on in therapy). I felt that if I wasn’t as thin as a Victoria’s Secret runway model, I wasn’t thin enough and realistically I will never have that 1% body type. In my grad school days, after every breakup I’d drop 20lbs because I’d be too sad to eat and have everyone tell me how “amazing” I looked so I get it. We should celebrate people having nourished bodies or maybe just focus on people as people, bodies aside. Your writing always resonates with me so thanks for sharing.
I have spent my entire life wishing I could be just 5-10 pounds thinner. Then 2 years ago I had a hypomanic episode followed by a deep depression and I lost 15 pounds in about 3 months without trying. My skin got horrible, my hair fell out, and people kept telling me how hot I looked and asking how I lost so much weight. I will never comment on someone's weight loss again. You have no idea what they're going through, whether it was intentional or not, or even arrived at in a healthy way. I will keep my comments to myself. As more argument for this, my husband once told someone he looked great and had lost so much weight and the guy said "I have cancer". So... yeah, peoples bodies are not fodder for your conversation. So glad I realized all this while my girls are young. It will be a constant consideration around how I talk about food, clothes, and bodies.
This was so interesting and insightful Anita. As some that used to be fat, I've learned you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life.
Just the other day, I asked my therapist about what I should do when people comment on the fact that I've lost weight. I also have a painful history of disordered eating/exercise, and am wildly uncomfortable with and annoyed by the fact that people comment on other people's bodies.
I appreciate you shared these parts of your own experience with us. I'm sorry that this happens, and I wish you so much happiness and health.